After sitting through what surely was the worst Oscar telecast ever, I can happily report that I reclaimed my all-too-familiar title: Queen of Oscar Night (after a clinch win with Best Actor, victory was mine.)
Best Dressed – Gwyneth Paltrow and Cate Blanchett. These two striking blondes stole the show. P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N. Just flawless, they were.
Best Runner Up – Scarlett Johanssen
Worst Dressed – several, a few standouts, Marissa Tomei & Nicole Kidman
Biggest Cringe – several, one standout, Kirk Douglas. Painful it was.
Worst Decision – James Franco. Where are Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, or Hugh "The Hunk" Jackman when you desperately need them?
Best Snack – Whole Foods mini cheesecake. P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N.
Next Year Nomination – the Oscar Portrait. Same pose, same faces. If only we'd started 9 years and 15 pounds ago. Next year, it begins.
Overall, the broadcast was a disaster but the night a hit. This year's event saw the inclusion of an Ipad, backstage voyeurism and super-sized party favors. Next year, ten returns to the beginning - Ms. Denon. Will her famous enchillada's be served? Will Lesa take a shower? Who will take home bragging rights? Only Oscar knows.
Until then, love the arts!